5 Ways to Help Your Child Cope with Divorce

Going through a divorce is difficult for everyone involved. Even if things end amicably and peacefully, it’s still a loss. Things will change, and you’ll have to get used to those differences while grieving for losing a life you were so familiar with. 

If you have a child, divorce can be even harder. You have to put them first while going through something you probably never thought you would have to do. You might have to deal with things like moving out of your marital home, child support, and visitation schedules.

But, as hard as it is on you, it can often be just as hard on your child. Their whole world is turning upside down, and they need support. 

No one wants to see their child struggle emotionally. Thankfully, there are things you can do to help them cope with divorce and move forward in healthy, effective ways.

1. Create a Communication Plan

You’re not going to be able to keep your child in the dark about your divorce, so the best thing you can do is figure out how you want to talk to them about it. Ideally, you and your co-parent can talk to them together as a united front.

Your child needs to know that they aren’t at fault for your divorce and that they are still loved and cherished by both parents.

If you cannot work with your co-parent, put together a plan to tell your child what’s happening in an age-appropriate way, provide as much reassurance as possible, and be prepared to answer questions.

2. Encourage Them to Talk

While talking to your child is important, listening might be even more crucial. They’re going to have a lot of emotions that they might not know how to process or handle on their own. 

Encourage them to express themselves. Let them talk about their concerns. Answer questions. Provide reassurance. It doesn’t need to be a “one-and-done” conversation. Rather, encourage them to bring it up as often as they want so you can give them the answers they need to hear.

3. Keep Routines Normal

Divorce often means change. Unfortunately, you might not be able to control some changes, especially if you’re juggling visitation with your co-parent.

But, as much as possible, try to keep your child’s everyday routines steady and stable. Familiarity and comfort are a big deal, and having a routine they can rely on will help them feel less overwhelmed and anxious when it seems like everything else around them is changing.

You can even discuss those routines with your child and how they might be different at each parent’s house. When they know what to expect, they’re less likely to feel so stressed about those changes.

4. Spend Quality Time With Each Child

If you have more than one child, take the time to do some one-on-one activities with them, not just during the divorce process but as a regular practice. Sometimes, children might feel like they have to hold back their emotions, or they might not express themselves in front of their siblings.

For example, the oldest might think they have to be strong, so they don’t open up like their younger siblings. The youngest child might not fully understand what’s happening, so they live with confusion for a while.

Spending one-on-one time with your kids can make it easier for everyone to open up. Plus, it’s another source of comfort, and you’ll benefit from it, too.

5. Strive For Healthy Communication With Your Co-Parent

Not every divorce ends amicably. Some can be quite contentious. You might have a difficult time interacting with your co-parent. But, as much as you can, put your personal feelings aside when talking to them about parenting. You should keep your conversations direct and to the point regarding your child, and don’t let your past impact how you raise them.

Additionally, don’t speak negatively about your co-parent in front of your child or expect them to be messengers. Fostering a positive relationship is important for their well-being and will make it easier for them to adjust.

Divorce can happen for a multitude of reasons, and it’s never easy on anyone. But you can help your child through it by implementing some of these ideas. Keep the lines of communication open, provide comfort, and reassure them that you’ll all get through this chapter together.